Addiction

Addiction is a state in which the body relies on a substance for normal functioning. When this substance is removed, it can cause withdrawal.

Saturday marked my 6th day of no Coke. I believe it is the longest time period in my adult life that I have done this. Even during both pregnancies I still had 1 Coke a day. The few times I have tried to cut Coke from my life I usually made it to day 2. So to make it to day 6 is a great accomplishment for me. That being said I’m going to bare my soul to you today and tell you that Saturday afternoon after cleaning my bedroom and bathroom I had what can only be described as a small yet very loud break down. My husband had come home from work, the kids were pretending to clean their rooms and I was sitting on the bed resting for a moment. When my husband walked through our bedroom door I began to cry. Ok cry is not the right word yell and wail is more like it. I NEED A COKE!!!!! I was incoherently telling my husband that I just couldn’t do it. I needed a Coke and I needed one right now!
Now some of you might say just have a Diet Coke, and to that I will say not NO, but HELL NO!

Coke is my addiction and I need it. I don’t smoke, I don’t do illegal drugs, I do have a glass of wine every now and then, and although I’m overweight food is not really my addiction, it’s just Coke. So now you are asking why don’t you just have a coke then. No, I can’t. I’m trying to lose this Back Street Boy if it kills me. Well Saturday it almost did. The fact that I had lost 6 pounds as of Saturday was the only shred of control that I was still hanging desperately too.
After my break down I took a shower and got ready to go grocery shopping. I’ve done really well with my eating. This weekend was a small challenge compared to the Coke thing, Saturday it would have been real easy to fall into the rut of eating out and eating the wrong things, but we made it through with no casualties other than the small break down.

Now I’m going to tell you something strange. I hate Diet Coke, but I like Diet Dr. Pepper. Weird I know, but I just do. As a child and teenager I never like Dr. Pepper so I never grew accustom to the taste. So when Diet Dr. Pepper hit it big I kind of grew to like it. I still would never replace it over my Coke. So as I’m standing at the register waiting to check out the small cooler of Coke’s where calling my name. As I’m holding on to the last bit of dignity I have trying not to cry and stoke the cool bottles of Coke calling my name, my husband reaches in and hands me a Diet Dr. Pepper.

I standing there looking at him and then the bottle, then at him and then the bottle. Thinking he is trying to kill me. He looks at me with love in his eyes and says drink the damn thing before you hulk out and kill someone. I wanted to laugh but I couldn’t. I took the Diet Dr. Pepper held it in my hands and even though I know that it’s not going to be a real Coke as I twist off the lid my mouth literally fills with saliva. Sad I know.

As I stood at register 13 I closed my eyes and tilted my head back and took a long swig my face turned red, my eyes filled with water, my heart started pounding, I felt weak kneed, and my headache that I’ve had for 6 days stopped, immediately. This my friend, is addiction. And to think all these years I thought it was just Coke, no it’s Caffeine. Now don’t get me wrong I would still prefer a Coke, but in a pinch Diet Dr. Pepper is my savior.

As my eyes opened from the most magnificent 10 seconds of my life, I found my husband smiling ear to ear at me and he says now that’s the girl I married. Apparently I had been a crazed person for the past 6 days. I hadn’t even realized the outer affect it had on my emotions and reactions.
So to this I salute my giant Diet Dr. Pepper and say I will not be ashamed of my addiction.


What’s your addiction?